Valentine's Day and the Working Mother

“Honey! I got dinner reservations at Chez Swanky for Valentine's Day!” And so it starts, the working and breastfeeding mother's worst nightmare. Valentine's Day is supposed to be a special day for couples, and many new dads are expecting a romantic night out with their wives. You may not have had an intimate evening out since the birth of your baby, and there's a lot of pressure to make Valentine's Day a big event. However, for the working and breastfeeding mom, such plans start her thinking about the number of feedings she'll miss, the number of times she'll have to pump while they're out, how she'll keep expressed milk cold at the restaurant, and how much she'll hate to miss one of her precious evenings home with her baby.

I have a few suggestions for how to make that first Valentine's Day with a new baby a celebration of love for your whole family. After all, as one new mom put it, “we can't think of anyone we love more than our daughter, and each other for the joy she has brought to us”. There are ways to celebrate your romance that don't involve pumping, bottles, and more time with a sitter. Plan a quiet family evening at home, with a candlelit dinner on the good china after your baby has gone to bed. If your baby is young enough to nap and nurse through dinner, take her out with you. Picture nursing your baby as you gaze adoringly at your partner over an elegant dinner. Be creative in planning couple time, working it in around your baby's bedtime or evening naps. Take a long lunch or use sick time to meet your partner for a lunch date. Your baby will already be in daycare and you won't have to change your regular pumping schedule. You'll feel like an international woman of mystery checking into a hotel at noon with your handsome squire…

Most of all, keep in mind that your baby is only this young and dependant for a short time. Celebrate your baby as the embodiment of your romance. Don't forget to squeeze in enough couple time to keep the flame alive, but you and your mate will survive scaling down Valentine's Day for one year.